Sonja here- We all know telling someone to just calm down does not help them to calm down! But honestly we want to help create calm and support in this crazy world we live in. Moreover, the holidays are coming to, and in the crazy world right now those around us are most likely to be a little (or a lot) more sensitive and even feeling chaotic. So, how can we bring calm into chaos? Here are a few ideas to try. 1) Listen without judging and without trying to fix it. This is hard because our inclination is to give advice and help. But a listening ear and holding space for another to process is the best thing. Coming to our own conclusions after processing is key. After listening you could ask, "How can I help you?" or "Can I share my view on this?" and if it is ok then share your thoughts. 2)Accept Differences. Others are not you and you are not them. We so often do not get this and feel like everyone should think and act like we do. No one has the same background experiences or the same view of life. Accepting and embracing this allows you to accept and embrace another person and not try to make them wrong or you right. It just is. 3) Be Curious and Ask. Rather than assume what people want to how they feel ask questions. Don't make them ask you. Show first your willingness to be there, even if you don't know what to do or say. 4) Presence and Space. This may go back to the asking piece. Some people like you to be there with them and others just need space. Communicate that you are here for them when they are ready to talk without being pushy. Some people are touchy feeling and others really need hugs. Be open to whatever they need.
5) Don’t make it about yourself. Basically, don’t complain about how their tough time makes you feel. Or how it reminds you of what you faced or someone. else faced in the past.
5) Hugs. When you don't know what to say, often non verbal communication is the best. A hug, a smile, some eye contact go along way. I would love to hear your suggestions of things to add to this list! Let us know. We will be doing a Facebook live Friday November 6 at 6 pm Central on this topic. Join us and lets figure this out together. It's a private group for us! Join and hop on live or to see the replay. /http://www.facebook.com/groups/heartlifeconnections/ Blessings await,